are they friends?

so i thought friends were people who support you and like are nice to you and all that stuff. i feel like sometimes my friends "make fun" of me more than the people who actually hate me. i know they are all jokes but i think there is a line between the two. 

lately, i feel like i have to almost go along and maybe call myself a loser or fat just so i feel like i'm not taking it personally and just being chill.  one of my friends, "layla" has been my best friend ever since i switched to private school in 7th grade. i've been through almost everything with her. i know she loves me but when she does that whole haha joke thing so many times during the day i can't even count, i feel like why?

They joke around and during that, i'm fine

later, i think why the fuck do they have to do that

friends, my friends, can be nice but lately, all i feel like doing is slapping them right across the fucking face.

weird.

j.rose