following a nightmare.

i chase those dreams and those thoughts that are out of reach or impossible to happen.

he might be an ass to you... he is the sweetess guy to me...

he might seem like a player to you...  he is faithful in my mind...

why can't i just stop the dreams that get to sleep at night. those dreams where you picture what could be and how he is just there. there for you and no one else. do i need him to sweep me off my feet like some cliche love story? no i don't. but i'd like the chance. Can't he see that i hate it when he brings up a girl? Doesn't he realize when he touches me i get at a loss for words?

nope. I can dream that he might one day. it would be nice for a sooner ending but his love is like the sweetest sin. challenging to get and even harder to realize or for him to notice.

if only you were the one reading this. how would you reply? i desperately want to know.

j.rose

whats wrong here?

can't sleep tonight

you running through my mind 

hold me back from my dreams

think about you

can't let you go 

you let me go

nothing to do but...

nothing.

just a thought.

an obsession.

its an emotion that we all feel when we are driven to a thing, place, person, or whatever and we never stop thinking about it. We can't focus on much besides that one thing because thats all we want to focus on or think about.

obsessing is something that we don't plan on but once it takes a hold of us, there is not much to do about it until it slowly fades. Am I obsessed with the fact that thinking about a certain person might completely change for the better and maybe, just maybe, become "obsessed" or in love with the idea of me. I think about this when it comes to many people i know and it all seems rather insane. i become obsessed? obsessed with the fact of something or someone that is truly unlikely to happen. is there a sense in wasting my thoughts? i can't help it, i guess, because once you think there is the slightest chance, even 1 out of 1,ooo,000, then i believe in that one tiny chance...am i that pathetic for compassion?

o fuck.

j.rose

weekly stuff? (long overdue)

 TRY

treat me like you wanna know me

solve me unlike your complicated life

i think this is for real

i wanna believe this is what you feel

tell me this is what you want

i'm what you want

right?

j.rose

what's in a word?

a little confused here.

are these two different things???

1) liking attention

2) liking the feeling of someone who is out of your league wanting you

are these the same things? is being selfish the same thing as liking the feeling of want? liking the attention of someone who wants you, just that person? when that one person, at that one time, wants you...right there and then. the need for you.

are those the same things? i don't think so...a little lost.

j.rose

can you tell me?

we have fun...

there is no wrong in that

you touch me and you kiss me but in front of anyone else

you admit your current "relationship status"

like i don't even feel that pit in my heart when you say "my girlfriend"

why do i let you play with...me

can i not resist your eyes

your lips

your touch

definitely not...then why do i feel all the guilt and its no big deal for you?

tis' not fair.

j.rose

i wanna know

i wanna know why when you hold me you hold me like you care 

i wanna know why you only see me as just that friend

just that.

i wanna know why you even need her

i wanna know why you can't just have me

i wanna know why i feel like this

i wanna know why you have this control

i hate it that you have her and you don't feel guilt when your with me

i hate it when you hold me and kiss me...you don't feel the guilt i feel...

i feel everything.

can you try to see it through my eyes?

you can't

distracted by her and me...your a guy i guess

is that an excuse for you though?

i think your more than that 

i wanna believe it.

i'm having trouble.

j.rose